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One thing about celebrities is that they never seem to leave home without their trusty pair of designer sunglasses. It doesn't matter if they're indoors, out at night or in a dingy nightclub. They have become best buds, impossible to separate. In fact, given the Spears / Hilton incidents of late, celebrities are now more likely to leave home with a pair of shades than with underwear.

Why is this? By delving into the complex and bewildering psyche of the celebrity mind, we try to answer this age-old riddle:

1. So they don’t get recognised. You can't expect these poor celebrity types to get recognised by mobs of insane fans every time they go down the local shops can you? Eggheads and quacks alike agree that our brains are programmed to recognise other human faces mainly via their eyes. Clearly celebrities have researched this fact, and stay incognito by covering up their eyes. They're cleverer than you thought!
2. So they DO get recognized. There are certain species of celebrity that actually desire attention of passers-by on the street, and use their designer sunglasses to achieve this. Certain celebrities who shall remain unnamed decide to adorn their faces with the most outrageous insect-resembling monstrosities they can get away with. Certain famous figures have even gone as far as making sure they can be recognised simply from a quick glance at their trademark glasses. This latter syndrome is known as the Bono factor, named after the mens glasses icon and aging U2 frontman for his trademark luminous wrap-arounds.
3. As a defence against camera flashes. The number one predator of the simple celebrity is the vicious and merciless paparazzi - its natural for celebrities to think about defending themselves. The bigger the celebrity, the more of these deadly adversaries will congregate around them. The paparazzi's primary offensive weapons are their huge flashes, predominantly used to startle their prey and cause gradual yet irreversible damage to their already ruined eye balls (see number 5 for more details on this). In fact over millions of years celebrities who wear sunglasses have been more suited to survival (much lower suicide rates) than those without, and they have therefore evolved to be more likely to shade their eyes.
4. To cover up the state of their eyes. Contrary to popular belief, this is actually to protect us, the public. If we were exposed to the true state that celebrity eyes end up in after all night binges and long term sun damage, we'd be so horrified that our entire view of the world would crumble around us. Yes, ladies’ glasses of the rich and famous are there for our sake. Take my word for it.
5. Drugs make your eyes hurt. The intense responsibility and pressure that society places on the celebrity species leads them inevitibly to drug abuse. Substances such as tetrahydrocanabinol and opiates cause the pupils to dilate. This means normal daylight or even a streetlamp, harmless to you and eye, are very painful for celebrities. Think about that next time you tut-tut at celebrity sunglass wearing in ridiculously low light areas.

I hope now I’ve made you think twice before tutting under your breath next time you see a hollywood star sporting ridiculously unneccesary shades in pitch black conditions.