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A polite karaoke session can’t require too many rules, could it?  Yet karaoke enthusiasts on the news wires are reported to be murdering, beating and choking each other at the karaoke show.  I suppose there need to be more laws of etiquette than one would suppose.  Let’s list some absolute minimum standards for karaoke etiquette:

• Clap for every performer
• Heckling a performer is crummy
• It’s wrong join another singer uninvited
• You should not dump on the KJ
• Spewing foul language across a powered microphone is bottom feeder behavior
• Don’t volunteer another person for a performance
• Never abuse karaoke DJ equipment

These are the bedrock standards for karaoke etiquette. But we can take it a few steps further.  Push the boundaries of karaoke etiquette and prevent a felony!

1. Don’t try to steal extra turns during a busy karaoke venue.  You shouldn’t imagine you can conceal yourself within a group performance and then stand up to perform solo a few songs later.  You may discover that your group performance is your sole turn for the night when the karaoke DJ catches on to your turn sneaking. (A busy karaoke show is unlike an empty venue where you can request as much as you want.)
2. Write out in the song request diligently.  Write down the song title and the tune version number if that applies.  Give the KJ the opportunity to ready the accurate number of VocoPro karaoke mics by noting down how many performers there will be.  Unreadable or half filled out slips are typically sorted to the end of the pile or occasionally the trash can.  A little diligence in slip submission will ensure you get a spot in the rotation.
3. Never arrive ten minutes before closing and act up when you can’t get a turn on a crowded night.  Think how you’d feel if you were the person who had been tapping your toe for two hours for a turn and in walks somebody who thinks to hop into the rotation…!  Want to get a spot in the rotation?  Arrive in time to nurse a couple beverages as you wait.
4. Patronize the venue that hosts your favorite karaoke show.  Therefore if you want the karaoke to be back next week, you ought to buy something besides water.  If the club doesn’t make money, then the KJ won’t be hired again.  Act like a regular!
5. Don’t act like a “diva.”  Just one example, don’t request a song so you can perform it better just after someone else sings it.  Nasty stunts are the trademark of a diva syndrome.
6. You shouldn’t carry your beverage or cigarette up on stage during your song.  You will not own enough hands to manage all that stuff on stage.
7. Come ready with a couple track options so you will not be paralyzed if someone else sings “your” song.  If you know a regular always puts in for a specific track, you shouldn’t try to beat them out of that track.  It is certainly more better etiquette to be the one who is deferring the request for a popular song for someone else.
8. Don’t treat the karaoke performances like a machine karaoke elevator music.  Never take a table in the first row and snub the performers completely.  Many karaoke bars have tables away from the singers for those who don’t want to listen.  Keep your inattention private – it’s the least you can do.

It seemed insurmountable, but we found an additional eight guidelines of karaoke manners.  I want to imagine these type of standards about etiquette are only good sense, yet then I see a newscast about karaoke beatings, so…  Following these tenets of common etiquette should make the karaoke venue a better place for all comers.